You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
