I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
We smell like vodka and hangover
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