is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
