I wanna passion pit in your ass
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
