apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
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I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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