i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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