I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
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Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
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You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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