goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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