Me too!
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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