soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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