My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
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I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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