I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
