im gay
i know
yea but for you.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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