I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
