Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
