Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
i think my cat just said my name.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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