i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
