It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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