Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
