I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
