it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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