Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
