Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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