no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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