my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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