I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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