I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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