with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
