Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
