The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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