im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
