would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
