It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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