you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
