I bet he comes in French.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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