nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
