btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree