So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
