Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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