I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
