I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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