I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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