My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
PANTIES FOUND
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