would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Found the puke drawer
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
