Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
worst night to have a conscience
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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