I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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