Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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