you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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