It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
