I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
