Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize