I wish life had little blips of pornography
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
