I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
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And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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