Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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