Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
