Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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