he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
