I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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