Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
