dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Ladies don't puke and tell
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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