I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
