this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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