he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
