she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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