I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
