i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize