Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
