maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
