He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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